Are you motivated?

No, procrastination is my art.

Are you disciplined?

No, I excel at quitting.

Are you energetic?

No, I gasp while walking.

Do you eat clean?

No, snacks are my religion.

Can you lift heavy?

No, only if heavy means my toddler.

Do you track progress?

No, I vanish after day one.

Are you planning exercise today?

No, today's already skipped.

Are you serious?

No, just warming up my excuses.